We are writing this letter to expand and inform your thinking about bullying,
diversity, and friendship skills. This letter includes taking a closer look at
how the seriousness of this issue can be discussed at all ages (friendship making/skills
to combat bullying), signs bullying is occurring, how to deal with bullying
behavior, and how to prevent it in the first place from happening in your
classroom and school environments.
As an informed and active educator, you must do several things to help prevent
bullying in your classrooms and schools. Bullying negatively impacts many
aspects of a child’s life, both inside and outside the classroom. Therefore, if
you have a student picking on, harassing, or physically harming another child,
you need to take immediate action. Many U.S. states have bullying laws in place
in addition to some bullying-prevention programs in schools. Every stakeholder
needs to be educated on this issue, aware, and committed to taking immediate
action, when needed. In order to be the best educator for each of your
students, it is your responsibility to do the following: (a) model
anti-bullying behavior (some teachers are bullies); (b) talk about the
importance of friendship skills, other social skills, diversity, and bullying
in your classroom and school; (c) create a safe space for all students—both in
the classroom and at school; and (d) participate in professional development
and educate yourself on issues that align with this topic.
All stakeholders need to be aware that there are three kinds of bullying:
physical (e.g., hitting), verbal (e.g., name-calling), and relational (e.g.,
excluding someone from a group). Cyberbullying is also a huge issue today and
is wrapped up in verbal and relational bullying. It is more of a problem in the
home, than at school. However, everyone should be aware that cyberbullying can
occur on school property (e.g., text, email, social media). There are also two
types of potential victims: passive and reactive. Passive victims are those who
are generally quiet and try to avoid confrontations. Reactive victims are those
who channel their rage and anger into bullying others and provoke
attacks.
Each stakeholder has a role to play. This blog focuses on four stakeholders:
students, teachers, parents, and administrators. Students should be aware of
the different types of bullying, what they look like, and how they differ from
conflict. They should also have a secure understanding of who they can report bullying
to, and how they can separate themselves from a bullying situation. Parents
should look for signs of bullying, be a good role model, use consistent rules
in the home, have a good relationship with your child, and seek help for your
child, if necessary. Early education and intervention is vital. Teachers should
provide social support and a safe community for all students, teach children
about bullying (not to be victims), be aware and involved with students,
establish classroom rules aligned with this issue, and collaborate with all
stakeholders to reinforce these messages and skills. Administrators should
create a trusting and open environment, do not ignore these problems (take
bullying claims seriously and investigate), institute school wide anti-bullying
plans and campaigns, support other stakeholders in actively listening to their
concerns and taking prompt actions to resolve and prevent future situations
from occurring, educate staff and parents on the problems and solutions, and
create a school culture for respecting and celebrating diversity.
Everyone needs to be self-aware, advocate for themselves and others, and
continuously be educated on this topic. As educators at each level (K-12), you
may approach the bullying issue slightly different. For the younger grades,
teaching about friendship skills and other social skills in relation to being
kind and getting along with all people, is the primary focus. In the middle to
older grades, you will discuss bullying, anger, rage, rumors, relational
aggression, and cyberbullying.
As an educator,
reflect on your own feelings about bullying, diversity, and friendship skills.
What are your personal feelings about social justice issues (e.g.,
homosexuality, race, gender, ableism)? You need to know where you stand in
order to effectively advocate for others. If you personally feel homosexuality
is wrong, then will you stand up for a child who is being picked on because
she/he is a lesbian or is gay? How do you feel about bullying behaviors? If you
are a parent, how would you feel if your child was being bullied, was the
bully, or was a bystander of bullying? Have you equipped your child/children,
students, and staff with the tools they need to successfully defend themselves
against bullying and take the appropriate action(s)?
Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. I hope it helped you
to better understand bullying as well as how social skills (including
friendship) and diversity play a role in combating this issue. Remember that
you are in an influential position as an educator who can make a difference in
the lives of your students and your school. Educate, advocate, and make a
difference!
Respectfully,
Stephanie and Amy
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